Desolation
by Ecosphere
Summary: Just as the redhead was at the door she turned around and quietly said. "When you started to feel this way Beca, you should have told me." Then shut the door leaving Beca too soon what would be an emotional mess of guilt, sadness, and desolation. (Wattpad: Scissorhappy)


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey Everyone! So this is just a filler because I haven't updated any of my stories in a while. I would have just updated a prompt you guys sent me in, but I want to take my time on them. Also I have a new multi chapter story coming out soon called 'Insecurity'. So if you enjoy my writing than you should definitely read it when it comes out.**

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As Beca pulls up to her apartment, she dreads going into the empty place. She knows she has to get over it and move on, but it's hard.

As she walks up to the door she puts her keys and opens the door. She has an urge to yell out to Chloe that she's home, but knows she can't do it anymore considering Chloe isn't with her anymore.

Beca sets her stuff down on a chair in her living than pulling out her cell phone to order take out.

She was never really a good cook and she didn't really learn considering Chloe normally cooked the meals.

They tells her that the food she be there 20 minutes so she goes and sit in the living room to wait for it.

She considers calling Jesse because she know's tonight isn't going to be good for her, but eventually decides against it.

She hates feeling alone though and the only person she really wants here with her is Chloe. But she know that it's impossible for that to happen considering she died in a car accident 7 months ago.

She would give anything to bring the redhead back to her for just one more day, or at least just for a moment so she can show her how sorry she is, that she didn't mean anything she said and that they were fine.

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 _FlashBack_

 _"What are you saying Beca?" Chloe asked as tears begin to fall._

 _"I just... we aren't the same anymore Chloe." Beca said carefully trying to figure out the right words to say. "We just don't love eachother like we used to, it's there some sort of strain between us."_

 _"So you want to break up?" Chloe said, her voice cracking._

 _"What? No, I just think... we need some time apart."_

 _"Time apart?" Chloe said frustrated as she angrily wiped the tears of her face and quickly put on a pair of shoes and grabbed the keys. "Well if you think we needs sometime apart, I'll be staying at Aubrey's for a few days."_

 _Beca felt awful knowing Chloe was going to leave the house upset, she didn't want to break up with Chloe he was just scared because of how fast things were moving and felt as if they weren't paying enough attention to their relationship. She didn't want them to take a break but it just came out that way._

 _Just as the redhead was at the door she turned around and quietly said. "When you started to feel this way Beca, you should have told me." Then shut the door leaving Beca too soon what would be an emotional mess of guilt, sadness, and desolation._

 _But at the time, she had no idea that this would be her last conversation with her._

 _Not even 10 minutes later she had gotten a call from the hospital say that Chloe had been in an accident and was in critical condition. She had called Aubrey and Stacie who came to the hospital right away._

 _After waiting for almost 2 hours a doctor came out and told them how Chloe had passed and didn't even make it through surgery._

 _End of FlashBack_

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As the food arrives she sets the table for two, even though Beca knows she is eating alone.

Today would have been there 4 year anniversary. She tried to drown herself in work today to get her mind off the idea of spending this day without Chloe.

When Beca finished her meal she went upstairs and put on a pair of Chloe's old sweats that she had and laid down on her side of the bed, grabbing onto to her pillow.

Even though it's been a while her scent still lingered on it. Sometimes she would pretend that it was really Chloe, trying to bring back a small piece of her, but everytime she pulled away the brunette is met with the same cold pillow every time.

She remembered, right after Chloe's death, how close her and Aubrey had become. The one thing they both shared was how much they loved and cared for Chloe.

Stacie wouldn't let Beca stay at her own place and be alone right after, not knowing what Beca would do. That's when her and the blonde got to know each other better and actually became decent friends.

Beca just felt worse about that because it had been something the redhead had been trying to do with them for almost 8 years, and apparently it took her death to do it.

Beca laid there a bit more just crying, feeling more and more emptiness knowing she isn't going to ever see Chloe again.

She couldn't live with herself anymore knowing she was the one to make Chloe go out the door not even trying to stop her.

A few hours later, around 11:00 p.m she decide what she was going to do. She grabbed the few items she needed and headed over to Stacie and Aubrey house.

As she arrived Beca knocked on her door. She heard rustling in the house before she saw Stacie open the door. "Hey Beca, what's wrong it's past eleven?"

"I'm sorry. "Beca said with tears evidently running down her face. "I-It's just... I came to say goodbye. I knew that you would miss me, but I',m sorry I just can't keep doing this anymore."

Stacie rubbed her eyes, trying to wake herself up, confused as to what Beca was saying. "What do you mean?"

"I... Goodbye Stacie. Take care of yourself and Aubrey." With that being said, Beca walked off their porch into her car leaving a very confused Stacie in the doorway.

Stacie was a little concerned, so when she went back into her room she woke Aubrey up.

"Hey honey?" She said shaking her alittle. "Sweetie, wake up."

"Mmm" Aubrey mumbled, but immediately woke up seeing the look on the taller brunette's face. "Stacie, what's wrong?"

"Beca was just here a minute ago and she showed up crying and talking about saying goodbye and I'm a little worried."

Aubrey thought for a bit trying to figure out why, until she realized what today was. She suddenly became all panicky which began to freak Stacie out.

"Get dressed, do you know where Beca was going?"

"No, why?"

"Because I think she might be going to kill herself."

As Beca got out of her car she walked over, through the cemetery, going to find Chloe's grave. As she arrived the brunette sat down beside the tombstone setting a picture that she had of her on top of the grave, not blocking the name.

She cleared her throat knowing that from crying it would have been all blocked up. She didn't know what she was going to do, so she decided to lie down beside the tombstone.

After a while she eventually began to grow errie of the silence that surrounded her, and decided to talk try and talk to Chloe one last time.

Normally she would come here everyday after work and tell her how her day was, but today was harder than normal. But it put a small smile on her face knowing that this would be the last time talking to her like this because soon she would be with Chloe.

"Hey Chloe." Beca began, sniffling a little. "So as you probably know it's our four year anniversary today. I know you're not here to celebrate it with me, but it's okay. Because I will soon be able to be with you. I know you would have wanted me to be strong and move on, but I just can't do that with you. I love you too much to ever let you go. It beginning to get to hard to sleep alone at night, or to come home to an empty house, or to do work. Everything is so much lonelier since you're gone."

She took a pause trying to recollect her thoughts. "I know that this is all my fault, and you might still be mad at me. But I still love you, and I don't want to let you go. you would never believe the amount of guilt I felt when you walked out that door. If I had known at the time that would have been my last time seeing you, it would have gone so much differently. But knowing that you died mad at me, thinking that I thought we had a strain in our relationship just kills me."

Beca sat up now, reaching into the pocket of Chloe's hoodie pulling out a small pocket knife. She held up to her wrist and looked at Chloe's tombstone and said, "So I guess this is it, I'll soon be with you and we can be together again."

She slide the knife up her wrist, cutting the artery. She looked at the picture of Chloe and smiled, knowing that any minute know she's see her again.

As she layed down beside the tombstone she whispered "I love you" to Chloe before closing her eyes.

And in that moment that Beca closed her eyes, death had immediately taken her. From a distance you could heard a faint yell of Aubrey and Stacie who had just arrived at the cemetery to see their had just passes away by her beloved's grave.

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 **I just realized how depressing of a writer I am. Hope you guys enjoyed it and don't be afraid to tell me what you guys thought of it.**


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